The start of a new school year can be exciting for children, but it can also bring stress for both students and their parents. I experience this with my own school-aged children each year! Feelings of overwhelm may be especially strong for families navigating divorce or separation. I counsel my clients to work with the other parent to create as much stability and support as possible for their children during these transitions. Custody schedules, homework routines, and extracurricular activities can all become sources of tension if not carefully coordinated. It may be uncomfortable to speak with the other parent, particularly when a break-up is fresh, but your child will benefit from it.
Helping children thrive through back-to-school transitions
Even with careful planning, the back-to-school adjustments can still feel stressful. Clear communication, consistency, and emotional support help children feel secure as they return to their routines.
“Work with the other parent to create as much stability and support as possible for children during transitions.”
Communication and consistency are key for co-parents
Children thrive when they have predictable routines and unified messaging from both parents. I encourage clients to discuss bedtimes, homework expectations, screen time, and other day-to-day realities to reach a consensus so children know what to expect at each household.
Children need a variety of things for school and extracurricular activities on any given day. Help them remember to charge their tablets; make sure their sports equipment is ready to go; and sign their permission slips. If their instrument is at the other parent’s home the night before their concert, work with the other parent to pick it up. Shared calendars and co-parenting apps can help coordinate schedules, appointments, and extracurricular activities while reducing misunderstandings.
“Children benefit from predictable routines and unified messaging from both parents.”
Emotional support makes a big difference
Transitions can be emotionally challenging. Encouraging children to share their feelings about school, teachers, or new social situations helps them feel heard and supported. Simply acknowledging their concerns and offering reassurance goes a long way in addressing their concerns. For some children, counseling or therapy can provide additional guidance during this adjustment period.
“If you are newly separated and previously relied on the other parent for school updates, now is the time to be proactive.”
Practical tips for parents
Many schools use online portals to post grades, assignments, and other academic information. Both parents should register with these sites so they are each informed about their child’s progress. The school may also have a weekly newsletter and the option to subscribe to text updates for information such as snow delays and cancellations.
If you are newly separated and previously relied on the other parent for school updates, now is the time to be proactive. Attend back-to-school nights, parent-teacher conferences, individualized education plan (IEP) meetings, and similar events. Not only does this demonstrate your involvement, which strengthens your position in a custody case, but more importantly, it benefits your child.
“Being proactive and organized ensures that children’s needs are met and reduces stress for everyone involved.”
When to Seek Legal Guidance
If conflicts arise or legal clarification is necessary, consulting a family law attorney with experience in custody arrangements can help protect your rights and your children’s best interests. Early guidance can prevent disputes and maintain stability for children.
