Ah, it’s back-to-school time, and the red zone is approaching. That’s the stretch between the start of orientation and winter break when our phones light up with calls from parents asking for help after their student is hit with a student misconduct charge.
We hear from all types of families, but most often from parents of freshmen who may be letting a little “too loose” once they leave the nest. No curfews, easy access to alcohol, and brand-new freedom can lead to trouble. We wrote a book (Yes, Your Kid) about talking to your kids about sex as they grow up, but there’s a whole lot more to cover when it comes to back-to-school safety tips.
We have seen how painful the guilt feels after a college disciplinary process starts, and how much of it could have been avoided with the right conversations ahead of time. So here’s our updated, say-it-now list for parents and students of all ages.
1. For Grade School Kids: Skip the Pocket Knife
It does not matter if grandpa gave it to them, or if it has been tucked away in a drawer for years. Bringing a pocket knife or anything that qualifies as a weapon to school can lead to serious discipline. Times have changed, and “I forgot it was in my backpack” will not stop the suspension or expulsion under today’s strict school rules.
2. Social Media Can Sink You
We have seen campus misconduct allegations start from one ill-advised post. Holding a gun in a photo, flashing ammunition, or even using words that hint at violence is a hard no. These things last forever and can kick off a university investigation process before you know it. We have even seen students charged with misconduct before school officially begins, all because of what they posted online.
3. Keep It Honest in the Classroom
Whether it is a grade-school science fair or a college final, cheating is cheating. Do not use AI without permission, do not peek at your friend’s work, and do not “collaborate” when there is a no-collaboration policy. An academic misconduct violation can lead straight to a student conduct hearing and a mark on your record, which can make it difficult to get into graduate school later, especially medical or law school.
4. Title IX: Boundaries Matter
Every fall, a new batch of Title IX rights cases cross our desks, often involving things like choking, slapping, biting, spitting, or BDSM without prior consent. Here is what too many students forget:
- Be respectful. Demeaning and unwelcome language without consent constitutes sexual harassment, full stop.
- Make sure they get home safe. Even if the spark fades, basic decency counts.
- Do not ghost. The “can we just be friends” talk may be outdated, but it is better than silence.
- Ask, do not assume. No two people are the same. Talk before you touch.
- Go slow if needed. Past trauma or no prior experience means you should take things slowly. Pressure or coercion can violate Title IX rights everywhere.
5. Have a Drinking Game Plan
If you are going to drink, plan ahead. Go to the party with a friend and leave with the same friend. Once you are past your limit, you cannot trust yourself to make good choices, and that is when college code of conduct violations happen.
6. Speak Up Early
Bullying, harassment, or sexual assault should be reported right away. Save texts, screenshots, and anything else that matters. Quick action can protect your Title IX rights and help you navigate the college disciplinary process.
7. Hazing Is Not Bonding
We have seen it all, from the “family bottle” of liquor to extreme challenges that leave students hospitalized. There is a fine line between bonding and hazing, and any forced activity that takes away from academic obligations typically crosses the line. Indeed, many states have enacted anti-hazing statutes that have criminal penalties for those who haze pledges.
8. Do Not “Muscle Through” Mental Health
We have watched great students crash because they thought they had to tough it out. Taking a leave to get help is not quitting. It is smart, and it can save your academic career.
9. ROTC Rules Are Different
ROTC students live under both the school’s college code of conduct and military regulations. Underage drinking can mean losing your spot, paying back your scholarship, and facing a university investigation process.
10. Have a “Something Went Wrong” Plan
It is not “ET phone home,” it is “student phone home.” If something happens, call your parents before a decision is made. Too many calls come to us after the fact, when it is already too late to change the outcome of a student conduct hearing.
Final Thoughts
The start of a new school year is exciting. For parents, it might mean an emptier house. For students, it is new freedom and new challenges. Going back to school can also cause anxiety. You might be fighting a little more with mom and dad, and that is quite normal and part of the separation process. And if something does happen, we are here to help students nationwide through student misconduct cases, hazing prevention matters, and the university investigation process.
