You're going through a divorce. Your spouse says something that cuts deep—maybe they call you an unfit parent or threaten that you'll walk away with nothing. These brief yet hurtful comments can trigger impulsive actions. But before you react, let's review what you absolutely should not do during a divorce:
1. Communication Blackout: Don't disconnect your spouse's cell phone service. This is especially true if you're doing it to force them to delete recordings of hostile interactions. Such actions often backfire and can be used against you in court.
2. Financial Warfare: Courts expect financial stability during proceedings. Don't empty joint bank accounts or redirect income to private accounts. These moves often trigger immediate court intervention and can damage your credibility with the judge.
3. Weaponizing Children: Resist the urge to tell your children that their other parent is "destroying the family." Instead, work with your spouse and a family therapist to develop an age-appropriate explanation. Keep it brief, emphasize that both parents love them, and be prepared to answer their questions honestly but tactfully.
4. Disappearing Act: Taking your children and going into hiding is rarely, if ever, justified. This action not only traumatizes your children but can severely damage your legal position. Remember: your divorce from your spouse doesn't mean your children should divorce their parent. Even if you believe your spouse is difficult, they remain your children's parent. Work through proper legal channels.
5. Privacy Violations: While reading your spouse's messages might be tempting, never access communications between them and their attorney. This privileged communication is legally protected. If you're caught accessing these private exchanges, expect serious legal consequences and potential damage to your own attorney-client relationship.
High-conflict divorces are challenging, which is why having experienced legal counsel is crucial. A customized approach ensures that your family's best interests remain the priority throughout the divorce process.
