From iconic on-screen couples to tangled webs of fictional workplace drama, office romances have long captured the public imagination. But these storylines reflect a very real dynamic that employers often face and must address. Romantic relationships in the workplace are common and complicated, often bringing with them issues like favoritism, conflicts of interest, and even legal liability related to potential discrimination and harassment. Indeed, just like their fictional counterparts, real-life office romances can get messy fast, especially when power imbalances, breakups, or blurred boundaries come into play.
Here are four essential tips to help employers proactively navigate the complexities of personal relationships in the workplace.
Tip One: Create a Written Workplace Relationship Policy
For employers, a key to managing workplace relationships is having a clear, written policy that outlines what types of relationships are permitted within your organization and which are not. An effective policy should address not only romantic relationships but also familial and other close personal relationships that could be implicated as well. This written policy can be included in an employee handbook or maintained as a stand-alone policy circulated to employees separately.
While employers have flexibility in shaping a policy that fits their workplace culture, it is generally advisable, at a minimum, to prohibit familial and romantic relationships between employees in the same reporting line, such as between supervisors and their subordinates. When a supervisor has influence over the terms and conditions of a subordinate's employment, a personal relationship introduces a higher risk of perceived or actual favoritism, conflicts of interest, and employee morale issues. For example, if a supervisor assigns a high-profile client to a subordinate with whom they have a personal relationship—regardless of whether that employee is the most qualified—the decision is more likely to face scrutiny from colleagues and could lead to formal complaints. In other cases, if a relationship between a supervisor and subordinate ends poorly, the organization may be exposed to claims of discrimination, harassment, or retaliation.
In drafting a written workplace relationship policy, it's also important to avoid making promises the organization may not be able to keep. Specifically, employers should not guarantee that employees in a prohibited relationship will be reassigned rather than face other forms of disciplinary action. While reassignment might be an option in some cases, it may not always be feasible or appropriate. Instead, the policy should state that the organization will take appropriate action to address workplace relationships that violate the policy within its discretion, such as reassignment, restructuring, or termination of employment.
Tip Two: Enforce Workplace Relationship Policies Consistently
When it comes to managing workplace relationships, consistency isn't just important, it's key. Even the most well-thought-out written workplace relationship policy can unravel if it is not applied uniformly across an organization. Accordingly, once a written workplace relationship policy is in place, it must be enforced consistently and with limited exception. This includes without regard to the particularities of the employee's position within the organization, such as their seniority or perceived value to the company.
Inconsistent enforcement of a workplace relationship policy not only creates confusion among employees as to what conduct is acceptable, but it also heightens the risk of potential legal claims. For instance, if an exception to the written policy is made for one couple, even with the best of intentions, but not another, the organization may face allegations of favoritism or disparate treatment. To avoid these outcomes, it is essential for leadership and your human resources team (HR) to ensure decisions are aligned with the organization's stated policy and well documented. A written workplace relationship policy is only as strong as its enforcement, and inconsistent application can be more damaging than having no policy at all.
Tip Three: Don't Take a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Approach”
Ignoring workplace relationships in practice does not make them disappear. In fact, it may increase the potential for problems to arise. As a result, employers should instead establish a clear and accessible reporting procedure for employees to utilize if they are in a relationship covered by the organization's written policy.
For example, if some workplace relationships are permitted under the organization's written policy, the organization should require the relationship to be disclosed to HR, preferably by the more senior employee involved. Specifically placing the reporting responsibility on one of the employees makes it more likely that the relationship will be reported rather than kept secret. Any relationship reported should be managed by HR, which is best positioned to determine appropriate next steps. Having HR handle relationships that are reported also helps to reduce the risk of selective enforcement.
Tip Four: Train Managers on Appropriate Workplace Conduct
Managers serve as the first line of defense in recognizing and responding to inappropriate behavior in the workplace, including issues that arise with workplace relationships. In addition to standard anti-discrimination and harassment training, managerial staff should receive in-depth instruction on company policies, including any workplace relationship policy adopted. When managers understand their responsibilities, they are more likely to respond appropriately and reinforce policy compliance.
Workplace relationships often introduce risks that can disrupt the workplace and expose an organization to liability. Through clear policies, consistent enforcement, transparent reporting, and comprehensive manager training, organizations can reduce that risk and maintain a professional work environment.
