In today’s hyper-connected world, social media is an integral part of many people’s daily life — so much so that we often take it for granted. It’s where we share milestones, vent frustrations, and document even the most mundane moments. But when a marriage dissolves, those seemingly harmless posts can become powerful evidence in court.
High-profile divorces, like those of Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas or Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, have played out in the public eye, with social media fueling custody disputes and legal battles. For anyone navigating divorce or custody litigation, understanding how to manage social media is crucial. What you post — or delete — could have lasting consequences.
So, what are some of the dos and don’ts of social media when you’re going through a divorce or custody litigation?
DON’T: Delete Anything
It might be tempting to wipe your social media clean when legal proceedings start, but resist that urge. Remember that once an action has started, there is a general duty to preserve anything that may be used as evidence. You don’t want to have to explain to your spouse’s attorney, or a judge, why those pictures of you and the person with whom your spouse believes you are having an affair suddenly disappeared from your social media page. Also, it is important to remember that just because something is deleted from a page, it may not be permanently deleted from the internet and/or a hard drive. There is sophisticated technology that can be used to recover information that users thought was deleted with the press of a button (though in most instances, it is not that easy).
DO: Update Your Security Settings
While you shouldn’t delete anything, you should absolutely update your passwords and privacy settings. Lock down your accounts so they’re not viewable to the general public (or your spouse’s attorney). You are also free to delete your spouse as a friend, and/or otherwise block your spouse from viewing your pages. Think of it as setting healthy boundaries in a digital world.
DON’T: Post About Your Divorce (Or Your Spouse)
No matter how tempting it is to vent about your ex online, don’t do it. You don’t want to post anything on your social media about your spouse, your spouse’s actions, or their job. Nor should you post anything about the court proceeding. We warn all our clients that they should not do or say, on social media or otherwise, anything that they would not want a judge to read or see (particularly if it is something that your children, no matter what age, can also read or see). “Anything you do or say may be used against you” does not apply solely to criminal matters.
You also want to be aware of what the specific issues in your case are, or might be, and be especially cognizant of how your posts (or posts of others that involve you) may impact those issues. For example, if there has been an allegation that you drink too much, you don’t want your social media to be full of pictures of you drinking or looking incoherent (but don’t delete those pictures, if they are already posted).
DON’T: Assume Private Messages Are Really Private
The same goes for communications with your spouse: assume everything you send to your spouse, whether in a text, e-mail, social media message or otherwise, will be seen by a judge at some point – choose your words carefully!
DO: Keep Tabs on What Others Post About You (and Your Case)
You will want to preserve (think screenshot) any posts, messages, etc. that your spouse makes that may be useful to your attorney in the divorce or custody action, whether those posts are made on your spouse’s personal page, or on a friends’ or family members’ pages. However, you don’t want to track, hack, install spyware, or otherwise try to gain access to your spouse’s phone, computer, e-mail or social media accounts.
DO: Talk to Your Attorney First
If you have even the slightest belief that what you are doing is illegal, impermissible or may be just a bad idea in general, you should always check with your attorney first.
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This article originally appeared on MSN; it is reprinted here with permission.
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